Death of Open Wheel Racing in North America: Part 1001

By Speedracer

Here's a little off-season Open Wheel recap for everyone. So in the span of a few weeks we've had a team suing another, a former title-winning Champ Car squad merging with an equally floundering, an owner involved in a messing stock manipulation court case and a former Indy 500 winner winning Dancing with the Stars, only to leave his long-time fiancee for his dancing partner, a teenager, fifteen years his junior.

Rahal-Letterman is suing Scott sharp after Sharp left the squad and criticised the team's competitiveness, much like Danica Patrick did in '05.Forsythe is joining forces with RuSport for the '08 season. It's pretty bad when one of the owners of the series can't afford to field at least a two-car team on his own.

Meanwhile, Gerry Forsythe's business partner and owner of PKV racing, Kevin Kalkhoven dodged a bullet when he was exonerated on charges of manipulating the stock of a company, not racing related, in 2003.Lastly, as many of you have probably all heard, Helio Castro-Neves won Dancing with the stars and has since hooked up with his 19 year old dancing partner.

I don't know her name and, frankly, I'd rather take a shot to the groin than watch that show. The shot to the groin will hurt for a few minutes. That show's how long, a half hour? One hour? I'd rather take the intense, albeit brief, pain over the prolonged torture.

With the help of my trusty magic eight ball I'm going to take a stab at what the next few weeks will have in store for us.

Champ Car will announce plans to run a fourth race in Canada, through the streets of Vancouver. Officials will call it a bold new step into Canada that will tap an un-mined segment of Canadian racing fans. Sadly, the plan will come unhinged when they're reminded there was an event in Vancouver that was ditched due to preparations for the '10 Olympics.

"What, they haven't held the '10 Olympics yet? D'oh!" will be overheard at the press conference.
Forsythe Racing and Rusports relationship will get off to a bad start when they're laughed at during the opening race thanks to their controversial new name F-Ru Sports.

Bobby Rahal and David Letterman will end their long-time partnership when Letterman discovers Rahal had stolen over a dozen of his wigs.

Helio Castro-Neves will be involved in another scandal when his dancing with the stars girlfriend leaves him for an older man, and contestant on next year's show, Jimmy Walker from Good Times.

Dyno-Mite!